Ways to Say Goodbye

Eighty-five ways to tell you goodbye

Arranged in a list, all of them lies

How I love you and miss you, and wish you were here

When reality is that I can’t stand you near

I hate everything you do, and all that you are

Wherever you go, it can’t be too far

Your lies and your games make a terrible truth

And the mess that I’m in, it’s because of you

You never were good; I was just blind

And innocence led me to think you were kind

And supportive and loyal and devoted and true

But you weren’t in love; I was a plaything to you

Something to pet and keep tied up in chains

Something to mess with when you wanted a game

Something with no heart to be thought of at all

You let me fly high, and then watched me fall

So I don’t feel bad, now, saying goodbye

Watch how I go — I won’t even cry

I’ll stamp out your memory and erase all your texts

I’m moving on to whatever life offers next

Everything’s beautiful and happy and new

Now that I’ve finally bid you adieu


1950’s Honey

One day I woke up and thought I could be

Something incredible, uniquely me

I thought I’d move mountains and change the world

But I’d forgotten, of course, that I was a girl

And girls can look pretty, and girls can smile big

And girls can wear makeup and dresses and wigs

And girls can be daughters, and sisters, and wives

But girls don’t have freedom to live their own lives

At least, so they tell me, wherever I turn

How many slammed doors before I finally learn?

The things that they say are strange and insane

But they laugh at me like I’m playing some game

They call me a ‘darling’ and push me away

But I’ll show them all, I’ll show them, one day

I’ll show them exactly what it means to be me

Not bound by chains, but entirely free

I’ll dance in the sun, and I’ll ride high in style,

Not keeping my thoughts hidden in exile

But until that day comes, I’ll stay pretty and prim

Keep my smile empty, and keep my tongue trimmed

Keep getting pushed around, never fighting back

Until the Apocalypse arrives, and I can finally attack

Hell at My Heels

I’ve seen Hell, seen it through their eyes,

That empty abyss, a clever disguise,

Hell wears it well, makes you think nothing’s there

But I’ve seen too much for it to catch me unawares

I’ve seen Hell, I’ve seen it face-to-face,

The way you sweat; it makes your heart race

It’s a sight to behold, yet impossible to describe,

You might try to forget, but it’s forever inscribed

Yes, I know Hell well; you could say we’re old friends,

Unfortunate companions until the bitter end

I know no life outside it, it’s what makes me feel at home

With misfortune on my shoulder, I know I’m never alone


I open my window to flashes and screams

An utterly chaotic sidewalk scene

They all want a quote, want a pose, want a smile

Looks like I’m stuck here for the next little while

Don’t show that you’re tired, don’t show that you’re scared

You’ve spent time rehearsing. You know you’re prepared.

But they push and shove, not all smiles and waves,

And sometimes it’s hard to keep yourself brave

Because the magazine covers are designed for attention

And some of their headlines border on aggression

And some of the comments cut deep to the bone

And then you are lost, and feel horribly alone

It’s a freak show, a game, full of smiles and flashing lights

But your eyes are glued open as you lie awake at nights

All their words run around in your mind, in your head

And you’re not safe anywhere, not even your own bed

They twist all your thoughts, and they twist how you feel

They blur all your memories until you’re not sure what’s real

Some tell you they love you, but they must be lying

Because these magazines are the ones everyone’s buying

They tell you stay cool, tell you brush it off, move on

Tell you don’t listen, they’re idiots, they’re wrong

But it gets harder each day to face all the lights

When you know that they’ll haunt you all through the night

The reporters don’t care. They think it’s a game

I guess, in the end, that’s the steep price of fame

Homemade Cyanide

His words are poison; they strike inside

And leave me shaken, like someone’s died

Though no one’s dead, I know he’s scared

And that’s a good thing, that someone cares

Yet each word flies like a poisoned dart

I’m the target, and they find their mark.

Everything hurts and it’s dark and I’m shaking

I try to stay calm, but I can feel myself breaking

I then try to leave, but my feet won’t move

And he won’t stop; he’s got something to prove

But why prove it to me? What did I do?

I agree this is nothing he should go through

Yet here his words seep, and it kills me inside

To my heart from his lips, it’s homemade cyanide

I’m paralysed and blind, stumbling through his pain

Even after he’s done, I won’t ever be the same

No Vacancy

There’s no vacancy in heaven for travellers, tonight

Those lost in the firmament, wandering through starlight,

Their bodies are trapped in hospital beds

Fluorescent lights shine on unmoving heads

But their souls are on fire, and they’re far more alive

Than they can remember (at least, in recent time)

So why does each heartbeat take more time than the last?

And why does each breath start and end with a gasp?

Where are they wandering, so far from home?

Are there comrades-in-arms, or do they wander alone?

Maybe it’s pretty, with so much to sight-see,

That they’re forgotten those below, still on bended knees

Watching so expectantly for when the end will come

Will your last breath be tonight, or are you waiting for the sun?

Why does it take so long for you to search out heaven’s gates?

Or were you there all of this time, and simply have to wait?

Some say there’s nothing after death, but I’m not sure that I agree

If there’s no quota, queue, or wait, then why’s there no vacancy?


They came with knives, and they came with guns

They shot my heart, and they pierced my lungs

They ripped the curtains and tore the rugs

I called it torture, but they called it love

They said, it helps to set you free

Don’t know who they helped, but it wasn’t me

Their words were lies, some common thread

Spun by men who are long dead

And they called me a ‘stupid girl’

Who didn’t know how to face the world

Well, I’ll show them, I told myself

As I wiped the blood off from the shelves

And saw the books unscathed beneath

The most powerful weapon I could finally unleash

Court of Angels

From up on high I see their lies

Wisps of air from worlds passed by

The people speak, but I don’t hear

They live their lives like I’m not here

I judge their hearts, their love , their hate,

The things they fail to appreciate

And when they die, the scales decide

The strength and value of their lives

Some go to heaven, others to hell,

Which one is better, I cannot tell.

I’ve never been to either one

I just watch lives dance in the sun

And judge them when the time is ripe

And guide them to walk into the light

God’s Work

The light from my heart guides my hands on their way

I wake up every morning so thankful for the day

Because each step I take is blessed from above

Every breath that I take, a holy gift filled with love

Everything that I do now is truly heaven-blessed

By the grace of God I’ve learnt to balance life and death

And, through me, scales are tilted in accordance with their fate

Whether they will pull through, or whether we came too late

By day and night God guides me here; I’m a vessel he commands

He teaches me the healing arts I don’t quite understand

In the night I float through halls, my head a blurry fog

But I know that I’m not alone, because I walk with God

And it is such a privilege to finally realise

How peace or grief can be achieved by just how someone dies!

This blessed art I now dwell in is a dream I never dreamt

I’m amongst the luckiest in the world to whom this calling’s been sent

I only hope that I can do justice to the will of God

And live each day in humility, through the grace of heaven’s love

Chances Are

Twenty-seven miles from where we first started

I stand alone, now that you have departed

It was all pure sunshine, a rose-coloured game,

But, like a child at play, I couldn’t handle the pain

So I turned my back as you fizzled out

Left me still yearning and struggling with doubt

Did I do you wrong? Was I not true?

Are you saying I should’ve been more faithful to you?

I am no cheater, I just love the world

And,  at the end of the day, I’m still a little girl

I’m not meant to be tied, but to dance in the sun

And your choice is to leave, or to come dance along

So it’s not my fault, no matter what you might say

And I won’t be sad now that you’ve gone away

I’ll go on dancing, just like I always do,

For it’s just to myself that I have to be true