i sit down by the sandbox

and think about my day

i watch the fruit flies buzzing

i watch the children play

i think about the people

i couldn’t help today

and because i couldn’t help them

we had to walk away

and i think about my mother

a goddess carved from steel

she always knows what to say

she knows just how i feel

but she’s not here with me right now

to share my sandbox seat

her absence burns inside my heart

i feel so incomplete

but i sit by the sandbox

and think that luck is mine

because i know that my mother

is not yet out of time

and i’ll go home and see her soon

just like i always do

but i met someone else today

who’d give the world to do that, too

i sit down by the sandbox

to see what i’ve become

i think about where i’m going

and where it all comes from

will i go out in balls of flames

or will i drown alone at sea?

will there be a cavalry

who invades lands just for me?

do you think my heart will putter out

or will my lungs go first?

what would happen if my arteries

bulged until they burst?

will i leave this land alone?

before my mother or after?

will i leave this land in tears

or will i leave in laughter?

i don’t know. i’ll never know

until the time has come

a time that comes so easily

that comes for everyone

but it’s not my time yet — thank God

though i can’t speak for all

and as i stand up from the sandbox

fresh snow begins to fall


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