sandbox

i sit down by the sandbox

and think about my day

i watch the fruit flies buzzing

i watch the children play

i think about the people

i couldn’t help today

and because i couldn’t help them

we had to walk away

and i think about my mother

a goddess carved from steel

she always knows what to say

she knows just how i feel

but she’s not here with me right now

to share my sandbox seat

her absence burns inside my heart

i feel so incomplete

but i sit by the sandbox

and think that luck is mine

because i know that my mother

is not yet out of time

and i’ll go home and see her soon

just like i always do

but i met someone else today

who’d give the world to do that, too

i sit down by the sandbox

to see what i’ve become

i think about where i’m going

and where it all comes from

will i go out in balls of flames

or will i drown alone at sea?

will there be a cavalry

who invades lands just for me?

do you think my heart will putter out

or will my lungs go first?

what would happen if my arteries

bulged until they burst?

will i leave this land alone?

before my mother or after?

will i leave this land in tears

or will i leave in laughter?

i don’t know. i’ll never know

until the time has come

a time that comes so easily

that comes for everyone

but it’s not my time yet — thank God

though i can’t speak for all

and as i stand up from the sandbox

fresh snow begins to fall

i killed a star

i hide my face behind dark blue lace

since my angel fell from heaven’s grace

i see her walking by the stream

i see her there, but it’s just a dream

i hear her calling in the night

recite, she tells me. recite! recite!

but i’ve no words that they would hear

i’m just a shadow of despair

the demons cast from heaven’s light

burn forever in satan’s night

and i have joined their numbers now

i became a demon too, somehow

you see, late one night i shot a star

i killed it before it rose too far

but then i found that stars have wings

my guardian angel was one of those things!

and i killed her. i shot her dead.

i shot her clean, straight through her head.

and now i live in solitude

i forsook the heaven’s most sacred rule

i hide my face from mortals’ eyes

i burn in sin in my disguise

and every day, i spend it crying

for, in the sun, i see her dying

i feel her sweet light slip away

for i shot her dead, just yesterday

Zombie Bees (Updated)

I thought I’d been stung, but it was only my heart

That same bleeding pulp that you twice tore apart

And now that it’s over, and now that I’m dead,

Is there any trace of regret left in your head?

My casket is empty. There’s nothing inside,

Not even a body to show that I’ve died

The flames are so friendly, they rise thick and fast

They burn in a passion, but, like love, they don’t last

My body was too haggard, in any case, for show

It was putrid and rotten, just like you left my soul

I loved you to pieces, but you loved me in name

And you broke me apart when I saw through your games

But I couldn’t live on while you brushed me off

So I made the decision to make the pain stop!

The gasoline stunk, but the fire was insane

All of the memories flew straight from my brain

And, right at the end, when the flames reached my heart

I saw a bee flying, and I felt the tears start

I thought I’d been stung, but now I can see

That that much pain couldn’t come from a bee

It was my heart I felt burning, and all of the love

That I borne for you, that the flames rid me of

And, now that it’s over, I can finally see

The monster you were, and the one you made me

And though you might come back to kill me again

I know I’ll be strong, for I’ve been through the end

…but who would have thought that I’d only see

Through all this pain

with the help of a bee?

leave your empathy at the door

when you walk on the psych ward

you leave your empathy at the door

you slam the door in people’s faces

you speak with them in awkward places

you lie to them with empty words

they tell you things that seem absurd

it’s an awkward sort of back-and-forth

as strange diseases take their course

you see chairs thrown across the halls

you see blood splattered on the walls

you hear them scream from phantom pains

you hear them when they call you names

you read the charts, the nurses’ notes

you readjust another dose

and then you run to take a break

but find that it’s a huge mistake

for in the two minutes you were gone

a thousand things have all gone wrong

and as you try to control the flood

with ativan pumped straight into their blood

you find yourself yelling and screaming and moaning

ducking from chairs and ignoring their groaning

as once more you swear to do this no more

you realise you left empathy at the door

Sky Thieves

The Sky Thieves stole the Moon last night

He didn’t have a chance to fight

They stuffed him in a burlap sack,

And left the night sky bare and black

The starlets twinkled in discord

Lost without their overlord

And when the sunshine kissed the ground

There was no moonlight to be found

So now the Brigade don their cloaks

And bid goodbye to the village folk

They’re off to chase the vile Sky Thieves

To bring them to justice for all the grief

They caused when they kidnapped the Moon

A despicable crime which sealed their doom

But ere the Brigade gets too far

They’ll find they’re followed by a star

A wayward twinkle in day-lit sky

A guardian angel flashing by

They don’t know the star they see

They don’t know that star is me

I go with them to seek the Thieves

I go with them to end this grief

I go with them to find the Moon

I go with them to seal their doom

We find the Sky Thieves by a stream

The fog is thick, just like a dream

The moon is crying out in pain

He views his captors with disdain

His light is dim, and I almost miss

The way he lights up in pure bliss

When he sees me there, his favourite star,

He remembers I said I’d never be far

And when he’s freed by the Brigade

He jumps for joy, and I do the same

And we shine brightly in the sky

For we belong there, mounted on high

And there we’ll dwell until the end

Or until the Sky Thieves strike again

A.N. Yes, I lost it after the first bit. Sorry. >.<

Free

I fly through cities like a summer’s breeze

Coming unnoticed and leaving with ease

I’m not tied down so I’ll never stay

I’d much rather go my own merry way

But one day I found the ropes were too fast for me

And they tied me down, so I couldn’t be free

And now I am sad, because I cannot fly

And my wings lay rotting as time passes by

But I dream of the day when I will be free

And then I’ll fly again — they’ll be no stopping me

Then I won’t be tied down, no, not ever again

I’ll soar to the heavens until time itself ends