In the Land of Pumpkin Joe

Many, many years ago

This land was cursed by Pumpkin Joe

He was tall, and he was mean

When he was mad, he turned bright green!

All the other pumpkin lads

Tried their best not to be bad

But Pumpkin Joe just didn’t care

He spent all day locked in his lair

Cursing those who dared intrude

On his scheming solitude

There lived inside this pumpkin patch

Another pumpkin named Little Jack

Jack was small and rather slow

But Jack did not like Pumpkin Joe

He thought Joe was wrong to be so mean

And hide all day without being seen

So Jack went straight to Farmer Moe

And said, “How can we help Pumpkin Joe?”

Farmer Moe knew that Joe was wrong

To be sulking in silence all day long

But Farmer Moe also didn’t care

About pumpkins and the feelings they needed to share

He just cared about eating, and filling himself

With pies and preserves he kept on the shelf

And Farmer Moe was a little sly

So he said, “I know, Jackie, let’s bake him a pie!”

“What’s that?” said Jack, a little disturbed

That Moe should reply with a word so absurd

But Moe was conniving, quite the opposite of Jack

He knew what he wanted, and he was on the attack

“It won’t hurt a bit,” Moe said to Jack,

“I’ll just get my axe, and with a single hack

We’ll have pumpkin pie by the end of the day

And all these troubles will go right away!”

“That doesn’t seem right,” Jack said, a bit scared

“You might hurt somebody — it’s as if you don’t care.”

“Oh, I care all right,” said Moe, winking his eye

“And you’re just the right pumpkin to stuff in a pie!”

Little Jack scampered quickly outside

“Farmer Moe’s gone mad! He’ll bake us all into pies!

The other pumpkins heard this, and hid themselves below

They left Jack to deal with Farmer Moe all alone

Little Jack saw this, and felt this was the end

Of his sorry little life, abandoned by all of his friends

But, just as Jack thought that he never would cope

There was a bang, and a flash, and a little bit of hope

At the edge of the field, challenging Farmer Moe

Stood none other than that scoundrel, old Pumpkin Joe

“Don’t touch him, Moe,” Joe said, turning a bit green.

“Chasing that poor boy is downright mean!”

“I’m mean?” said Moe, looking back in Joe’s way.

“I’m not the one who locks myself in a room all day!”

Jack said, “I hide from you so you don’t turn me into pie

Forgive me for not being quite so willing to die!”

The hiding pumpkins mumbled, because they didn’t know

This particular fact about the “evil” Pumpkin Joe.

“You’d turn us all into pies,” said Joe, “if we were big enough.

You have a lot of pastries at home that you just want to stuff.”

Moe said, “I’ll stuff your head inside a pie, and your whole body too!

You’ll fear the name Farmer Moe if that’s the last thing I do!”

But Little Jack had grabbed Moe’s axe

And with a cry, gave one great hack.

-

-

-

And then there was no Farmer Moe

It was just Jack, and Pumpkin Joe.

And all the pumpkins began to cheer

Because they’d lost their lifelong fear

Of Pumpkin Joe and all those lies

He was a hero in their eyes

In fact, they even made him king

In a ceremonial sort of thing

And now Joe rules the pumpkin patch

And Jack bakes homemade pies from scratch

They’re stuffed with mud and chlorophyll

A tasty treat of which all have their fill

And happiness reigns all through the land

Of Pumpkin Joe and his noble band


Die Alone

I don’t want to die, and leave my mother’s arms

She keeps me so safe I think I’ll never come to harm

I don’t want to fade away inside that dark abyss

Where no warm hand holds mine, and there’s no goodnight kiss

I don’t want to see my parents mourn over my grave

Trying hard not to cry, trying to be brave

I know what they’re going through, and I know that it’s hard

I know that the hardest heart is one covered with scars

I don’t want them to feel the pain of losing love again

So I’ll go through the motions, but I’ll never let them in

And maybe if I don’t love them, they won’t love me, too

And then on that day when I die they won’t feel quite so blue

Because if they never loved me, they will not feel my death

And their pain will not haunt me as I take my last breath

But then no one will notice me, as I die all alone

While my body lays forgotten between the mud and stone


Halloween Spooks

Spooky McBoo and Sneaky McGhee

Went trick-or-treating on All Hallow’s Eve

Spooky was sly, but Sneaky was bad

And all of their tricks drove the neighbourhood mad

Spooky would knock three times on the door

Steal all the candy, and then ask for more

Sneaky would give all the children a fright

Then scurry off cackling into the night

Spooky and Sneaky were a terrible pair

Spreading their tricks without seeming to care

They weren’t afraid of the goblins and ghouls

They frolicked along, disregarding the rules

But then Old Man Pumpkin caught up with the two

And said, “This must stop, McGhee and McBoo!

I cannot allow this game to persist!

So, McGhee and McBoo, you must cease and desist!”

But Spooky and Sneaky didn’t care for these words

They thought Old Man Pumpkin was rather absurd

So they frolicked on, with their tricks without treats

But then Old Man Pumpkin caught them back on the streets

“McGhee and McBoo! What am I to do

With a pair of imps as mischievous as you?

Your tricks without treats are a scandalous plague,

You two must be punished because you’ve disobeyed!”

With that, Old Man Pumpkin locked the duo inside

Of a coffin where it felt like they’d been buried alive!

On Halloween night, they were removed from the fun

Because of the mischief these two spooks had done

“I’m sorry,” said Spooky, his voice very soft.

“I’m sorry, too,” Sneaky sniffed, or perhaps he coughed.

In any case, the duo made amends with themselves

But that Old Man Pumpkin wasn’t satisfied as well

“I’ll teach them a thing about tricks, now,” thought he.

So he went in search of the best tricks to see

And he found them, too, with a wizard so grey

That his beard looked like fur-balls mixed in an ashtray

“I need a spell,” Old Man Pumpkin had said,

“Which will fill naughty spooks with caution and dread.”

The wizard, it seemed, was more than happy to help

And when Old Pumpkin left, he felt all would well

But Spooky and Sneaky were far from all right

When they were let back into that lovely night

The sight they beheld caused their hearts both to sink

They found that their bodies had been had coloured bright pink!

“How can we trick,” they said, “in a colour so strange?

If we can’t play tricks, then we might have to change

All of our sneaky ways, and then make amends

Why, if we can’t play tricks, we might have to make friends!”

Old Man Pumpkin just laughed and said, “What shall I do,

With you, Sneaky McGhee, and you, Spooky McBoo?”

Now, Spooky McBoo and Sneaky McGhee

Are the friendliest spooks that you’ll ever see

And on Halloween night, they give everybody treats

Without tricks at all while they’re haunting the streets

And though they are pink, they’re a sight to behold

The subject of many ghost stories we’re told

Around Halloween time, in the midst of a dream

About Spooky McBoo and Sneaky McGhee


Ripped Dreams

I hate the way you haunt me

You poison all my dreams

You force me to insanity

Your visions make me scream

I see your rotting body

I see your headless corpse

I see the dreams you stole from me

You ripped away by force

You wake me from my slumber

To make a zombie in disguise

The walking, waking dead by day

Though every night I die

And I can’t fool your presence

I can’t hide from your eyes

The way you used to look at me

And all your little lies

And I see you when I am sleeping

I call your name in vain

The way we used to be is gone

And I’ll never be the same


I Died so Young…

Inside my coffin, I wear a dress

Of soft, white silk and lace

And though the tombstone bears my name

You’ll never know my face

My flesh has crumbled into the dust

And joined the soil all around

And you would never know the difference

If you saw me underground

You’d only see my bones, as I lay quietly here

But I’m so tired of staying dead, I want to disappear

Away from this grave where I’ve overslept

Away from the places I’ve sighed and wept

Away from this place where I broke my heart

And saw a whole lifetime ripped apart

I had my heart torn out of my chest

And entered into a temporal arrest

I had the air ripped away from my lungs

You don’t know what it’s like to die so young

To be buried alive because you can’t breathe

To be locked out of sight because they can’t believe

That you’re still here with them, your heart’s just been broken

But they can hear nothing, your words stay unspoken

Your eyes move around, but they can’t see

That life was everything you feared it would be

You just couldn’t take it, but you can’t move on

Because dying too soon has always been wrong

But I didn’t know that, when I took the gun

Before I could stop it, the deed had been done

I gunned myself down with a bullet through the brain

And now I lie down here, now, I’ve gone insane

A ghost of the past doomed to live out the years

I stole from myself in my anguish and fear

From that trick of heaven, a twist from above

I had my heart broken before I fell in love

And I’ll never know what it’s like to be loved

Because I’ve lost the life I so quickly disposed of

So I’ll just lie here, like I’m buried alive

And think about that day, the day when I died


Zombie Prince

A hand reaches out of an open grave

The tombstone behind has your name engraved

Your body has returned to bless us with your grace

But I can’t tear my eyes away from your crumbling face

Your eyes are motley sockets, tinged with clots of blood

The scabs fall off your body, splashing in the mud

You crawl out of your coffin, one thought in your head

You’re going after her, though it’s me you want, instead

You looking for the person who put you in the ground

The sweet revenge so long denied has finally come around

You think that she’s the one who broke your bleeding heart

But here I am, yes, I’m the one who watched you fall apart

I should have told somebody, I should have looked for help

But you would never even look my way, you left me by myself

I only wanted all your love, but, for me, you were blind

You always ran to her as though your lives were intertwined

You never stopped to pause or think about my love for you

I wonder if you ever noticed? Well, I’ll make sure you do!

You’re running after her, but you’re running out of time

Only a few lines more before I will make you mine

In my story I can make you do anything I like

Make a story where you love me, and I become your wife

I’ve brought you back here from the grave so you can marry me

Once you’ve killed that other girl, oh, how happy we will be!

You might think that she’s the one who once broke up with you

But I’m the one who spread the rumour that you were untrue

Of course you’ll leave herĀ  soon enough, you can’t escape me now

You’re my perfect zombie prince, you’ll do what I allow

Within the confines of my words, I’ll cast a spell on you

Though this isn’t the first time I’ve tried this spell, that’s true

I tried to make you love me while you were still alive

But then that other girl broke you, and then, my love, you died

I tried so hard to move on, but I couldn’t without you

The skies, the lies, even my eyes turned everything dark blue

But now I have a second chance, now that you have been revived

Against all odds my love for your has magically survived

And now I’ll write my love for you to turn your thoughts around

(Though all my loves these days turn into zombies underground)

Don’t think about that other girl, just focus right on me

And we will be together, love, just like we will always be


Turn Your Frame

The walls at home are filled

With pictures of the dead

They sit upon the mantle

And hang over my bed

Their eyes follow my body

Every time I move

And I can hear them calling me

When they disapprove

Of all the clothes I’m wearing

And the friends I bring around

But they can’t stop me, no, they can’t

They’re six feet underground

So I just roll my eyes

And pick back up my phone

Because they don’t understand

What it’s like to be alone

They had a pleasant life

Though their stories too soon adjourned

And now I sit alone at home

Just waiting for my turn

Where every creak’s a ghost

Returning for revenge

And every crack’s a zombie

Brought to life again

With every flash of light

I see my lifeline flicker

My breath gets caught inside my throat

And my heart pounds a little quicker

It’s Halloween night in this small town

And the cemetery is full

Of spirits plotting vengeful prank

They’d pull if they were only able

I see your eyes, they’re following me

Everywhere I go

But you can’t touch me where I stand

I safe right now, I know

You do not like the life I lead

But I don’t really care

I see your faces behind the glass

Trying to catch me unaware

So I just take your picture frames

And turn them to the wall

So all the cracks and creaks and spooks

Don’t bother me at all


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